Spiritual Mothering: Don’t Grow Weary

I laughed as I read a blog I had written earlier this year  It was about a teenager that was stressing me out.  He lives with us and was not following our rules, had an anger problem, and was struggling in school.  I definitely was ready to give up on him at that point.  I was tempted to think “He’ll never change.”  I was frustrated, angry, and hopeless.

Well, let me take you on our journey over the last year.  In the winter and spring, everything was a power struggle with him.  He refused to go to bed on time.  He wouldn’t check in with us before going places.  It was a battle to get him to do chores.  He wasn’t getting along with others in the house.  At this point, you are probably asking why we allowed him to stay with us.  In short, the reason was because we were committed to seeing him graduate from 8th grade, no matter how hard it got.

By the grace of God (despite being suspended multiple times and barely passing his classes), he graduated 8th grade in July!  I knew he would always be a part of our lives, but thought our time housing him had ended.  We sent him to stay with a friend in Portland, Oregon to have a fresh start and get out of the neighborhood.  He displayed the same behaviors there as he did here, and was sent home after 3 weeks.  We had planned to send him to stay with his grandma, but she had taken in two of his siblings and was not able to house him.  Therefore, he was without a place to live.

This was in September.  I braced myself for the worst, but I still had a soft spot for him because God had definitely laid him on my heart since he was very young.  I could not shake the worry about what would happen to him without support of a loving family.  I saw him as being very vulnerable to gangs and without goals for himself.  How would he finish high school without someone pushing him?  So, we decided to give it another try, but really lay down the rules this time.  There was no fallback for him, so he knew he had to make this work, and we knew it as well.

We started to see a more compliant and humble young man.  He was very unhappy that he had to come back to Chicago, and wanted to prove himself so that he could return to Portland.  He felt like he had disappointed his dad (whom he so badly wants to please), and decided to work towards that goal.  In the midst of all this, I also saw the Lord working in me.  He gave me grace to love this boy, despite the fact that he eats up all my cereal and tries to provoke anger constantly.  God gave me the ability to identify when he does that, and to laugh at him.  Now, I just hug him when he is purposely trying to make me mad, and tell him that it’s not going to work!

In addition, he has started coming to church with us regularly and desiring to spend time together as a family.   Those are things I always wanted him to do before, but he wasn’t ready.  This week, he actually was sharing about God with another individual in our house who is not saved, and told him that God had him here for a reason. He isn’t saved yet, but God is definitely working in his life!

Relationships like these are a gift from God.  It shows me God’s character more and more.  My relationship with this teenager has been a mirror into my own soul.  I am selfish and want my own way.  I want to have control over outcomes.  I place myself on the throne of my heart.  I have been angry and bitter, and turned my back on God, YET he has not abandoned me!  I am so grateful for the Lord’s patience with me!  Though I disobey him, his mercies are new every morning.  The least I can do is show that same grace to others.  So, saints, please do not grow weary in doing good, for in the proper time you will reap a harvest if you do not give up!

– Heidi


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  • Wow.
  • I too was that "good" girl and based my righteousness on my actions. When I did commit one of those sins you listed (as if I wasn't already sinning with my pride in myself) I went into deep depression because I placed so much weight on being "good." When I realized (like you) that He is good and my righteousness (actions) are like filthy rags it gave me a new freedom. I was a slave to my misguided perceptions and my so called perfection. Christ offered me a freedom based on who He was and not what I did or did not do. He loved me in spite of me. That for me was freeing. Thank you for sharing this post. Now I see that I wasn't the only misguided one...lol...I'm sure there are many more of us. I look forward to reading more of your posts.
  • I am in tears after reading this! This spoke to me! I can relate! Just a while ago my selfishness rose her head and placed pressure on an old friend to be my superhero. God is the only superhero! He is near ready to comfort! Lord you have spoken! May God Bless this ministry!
  • This is a much needed topic in the church today. I dont know whats worse these church floks that fill your head with lies or that christian mingle commercial?
  • Very wise words, son. Hopefully, they are listening with spiritual ears and a heart to obey.