The Weakness in Defense: Our Pride is Our Demise

So, let’s be real.  There are literally days when I want to run away from the people I love the most or hide from those that I wish to grow and connect with.  At any given sign of rejection, disapproval, doubt, confrontation or confusion I have to make a conscious decision to stay and fight against the pride in me that tells me to run away before I get hurt or “lose.”

Pride…  That’s truly what we want to protect most of the time.  When someone confronts us with a fault of ours, when we need to lovingly address an error in a loved one who may not accept it, or when we care for someone who doesn’t express the same time of care for us…it’s in those times that pride loves to have its way if we let it.  Pride loves to tell us to protect ourselves.  It loves to tell us to run away from someone before they run away from us.  It loves to tell us to point out someone else’s flaws when they humbly come to address our faults.

Pride is evil. It seeks to destroy us and our potential to have meaningful, God-reflecting relationships
(Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Prov 16:18 ).

Personally, Pride loves to tell me to shut down.  It loves to tell me to just quit before I lose.  Its message to me is to run away because whoever is involved isn’t worth my time or effort.  It also tells me to predetermine that someone doesn’t really want to resolve an issue or won’t understand where I am coming from before I even give that person a chance to defend themselves.  Pride tells me not to fight because fighting and losing would be worse than giving up prematurely.  Pride ultimately tells me that this world and my life revolves around me… that displaying the Gospel in my life isn’t as important as protecting my own heart.

…but Pride is a liar.

One’s pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor. (Proverbs 29:23)

So let’s walk in Truth, then take a chance, trust God to guard our heart,s and be vulnerable before Him through our earthly relationships. I know that we may not want people to see how imperfect and clueless we are about life, but guess what?! We are imperfect and clueless! We do need help.  Someone does need to see our flaws because a major purpose of the Christian community is to provide accountability and spiritual sharpening.

I know, it sucks sometimes to have to look in the “mirror” and view our imperfections in comparison to God’s holiness, but it is so incredibly necessary to this walk of ours.  Let’s strive to avoid the tendency that most of us have to see our imperfections and think that caking on prideful makeup will mask our sinfulness.  God cannot be mocked.  Besides, we have Christ’s blood covering us so that we may be presented to Him as a spotless and beautiful bride
(23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. James 1:23-25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Eph 5:25-27 ).

In case you’ve forgotten, Someone once saw the ugliest parts of you and still chose to love us with all that He has…and guess what? That Someone is the King of Kings!  If He can love us despite our flaws, let’s not be afraid of man’s judgement and not hold ourselves back by thinking too highly of who we are (23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25 whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. 26 It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. 27 Then what becomes of our boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? By a law of works? No, but by the law of faith. Romans 3:23-27 ).  Let’s present ourselves in humble submission before our Love and allow Him to wash us of our pride and need to defend ourselves.

It will help us, and it will help those around us.

God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. (James 4:6b)



Dustin Harper

Hey, Sharona! Great article! I particular am encouraged by your openness and illumination to the fact that we have to deal with our own pride or it will destroy us. I sent a link to this article to some female friends of mine. In one conversation, I began to think about how some people think of pride as a two part thing. There is one part that is more about self esteem and the second part which has more to do with arrogance and a superiority mindset… My question is, for people who view pride in this manner, can one unconsciously go into defense mode to protect their self esteem? And is this healthy or unhealthy?

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  • Wow.October 24, 2012
  • I too was that "good" girl and based my righteousness on my actions. When I did commit one of those sins you listed (as if I wasn't already sinning with my pride in myself) I went into deep depression because I placed so much weight on being "good." When I realized (like you) that He is good and my righteousness (actions) are like filthy rags it gave me a new freedom. I was a slave to my misguided perceptions and my so called perfection. Christ offered me a freedom based on who He was and not what I did or did not do. He loved me in spite of me. That for me was freeing. Thank you for sharing this post. Now I see that I wasn't the only misguided'm sure there are many more of us. I look forward to reading more of your posts.October 24, 2012
  • I am in tears after reading this! This spoke to me! I can relate! Just a while ago my selfishness rose her head and placed pressure on an old friend to be my superhero. God is the only superhero! He is near ready to comfort! Lord you have spoken! May God Bless this ministry!October 24, 2012
  • This is a much needed topic in the church today. I dont know whats worse these church floks that fill your head with lies or that christian mingle commercial?October 24, 2012
  • Very wise words, son. Hopefully, they are listening with spiritual ears and a heart to obey.October 24, 2012