What May Be, Isn’t

So you start getting to know this guy… He’s in love with God, has great work ethic and a similar vision…He makes you laugh, speaks your love language, knows how to pray, and so much more.  I mean, when you think about this guy he just reminds you of Jesus!! And to top it all off, he treats you like a queen and is finer than wine (lol)! He’s got to be “the One,” right?  He’s got to see and feel the same chemistry you feel, right? I mean, he hasn’t expressed any romantic intentions yet, but he just has to be planning the proper moment to unveil his feelings and desire to pursue you! ….Right?


One of the most memorable pearls of wisdom I received from my mentor (s/o to Melody :-)) last year was simply this: “What may be, isn’t.”  In other words, what might happen as it relates to courtship and marriage with a gentleman, but has not yet taken place, shouldn’t dictate my life, heart, or mind.

I had a conversation with someone recently about how I’m trying not to do too much mental consideration of being in a relationship with someone who hasn’t clearly expressed an interest to court me or get to know me more with the intention of courtship.  I just don’t want to do it anymore, you know?  I mean, have you been on the other side?

You end up sitting around thinking about all of the reasons why you and a particular guy would make a great couple…how you think you could be a good helpmeet to him…how he could be a great leader for you…how much fun you all would have together and how much kingdom building you could see yourself doing with him.  You think…you wonder…you prematurely ask God to prepare you for the man…and well, you lose sight of the gift of the present and the stewardship you must have of your heart.

We have to be cautious, ladies.  We must be careful not to give our hearts to men who haven’t even expressed a desire for the responsibility that comes with them.  We must guard our prayer lives so that we don’t end up spending the majority of our time praying about being with a guy who God may not even have for us.  We have to be discerning when it comes to trusting God to make good on “promises” that He hasn’t even made to us.  We’ve got to remind ourselves that we’re worth more than living in what “may be.”  God has given us purpose and we are on assignments that call us be alert, focused, gospel-driven, wise, women of God.

So, I encourage you.  Live in the gift of God’s daily bread.  Live being satisfied with what God has granted you in this hour of singleness.  And remember that God IS even though what “may be, isn’t” when it comes to relationships and marriage.  God is our portion.  He is our reward.  He is our lover.

– Sharona Drake


Claudia Allen

This is a WORD! Very realistic, and it spoke to me personally. I really needed to hear this concept of not living in “May be” and to simply enjoy the present that is God, because when He is ready to reveal a ‘he” in my reality, there will be no “May be”. Stay prayed up and committed to the calling on the spiritual growth of Women that God has placed on your heart.

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  • Wow.January 27, 2013
  • I too was that "good" girl and based my righteousness on my actions. When I did commit one of those sins you listed (as if I wasn't already sinning with my pride in myself) I went into deep depression because I placed so much weight on being "good." When I realized (like you) that He is good and my righteousness (actions) are like filthy rags it gave me a new freedom. I was a slave to my misguided perceptions and my so called perfection. Christ offered me a freedom based on who He was and not what I did or did not do. He loved me in spite of me. That for me was freeing. Thank you for sharing this post. Now I see that I wasn't the only misguided one...lol...I'm sure there are many more of us. I look forward to reading more of your posts.January 27, 2013
  • I am in tears after reading this! This spoke to me! I can relate! Just a while ago my selfishness rose her head and placed pressure on an old friend to be my superhero. God is the only superhero! He is near ready to comfort! Lord you have spoken! May God Bless this ministry!January 27, 2013
  • This is a much needed topic in the church today. I dont know whats worse these church floks that fill your head with lies or that christian mingle commercial?January 27, 2013
  • Very wise words, son. Hopefully, they are listening with spiritual ears and a heart to obey.January 27, 2013